The reason why indie funding websites should not just allow ANYONE.

RabbitBucket

Ediot
Joined
Apr 14, 2016
Messages
47
So, recently I've decided to go watch some old Shitstarter videos, starring some of the most sad and pathetic excuses of reasons to fund certain people. How some of these people are able to conjure up the positive attention of investors is beyond me.

There was one specific example that I've wanted to focus this discussion on, and it goes by the name of John A. "Jules from Pulp Fiction" Jenkins IV.



Oh lord, this guy's a tragedy in the form of a shaggy son of a bitch. His insanity ranges from his profile description to his crowdfunding pitches.

"I am trained as a video editor, 3d modeller, and sound designer. My real passions, however, are in animation and game programming, though these are the subjects in which I find the most difficulty. It is because of this passion that I have chosen a programming project as my introduction to Kickstarter., I have disagreed with the crowdfunding model since its inception, but it is a powerful marketing tool, nonetheless."

Why this guy specifically? Well, to simply put, he is the perfect blend of why these amateur dipshit crowdfunders need to be moderated heavily. Let's start off with his lowpoint, until he hits his descent into madness.



I. Busco Quadnary
See, Johnny-boy here comes up with a halfassed thesis on disproving the logic of basic programming by theorizing that "adding a two in the binary language" is the possible candidate in creating a more powerful 3D engine by having the advantage of programming in FOUR dimensions. Wooh. Totally radical, brah. Came up with that in your coke-induced daydreams, huh?

Visit this atrocious page and watch this video of his "brilliant" Busco Quadnary explanation, complete with Peptol Bismol in the background. WARNING, very boring and very retarded, understandable if you wanna skip it.

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1784334872/4-dimensional-operating-system?ref=profile_created

Notice the backer count. 13 people donated over $100. Either he created 13 accounts or 13 human beings felt pity over his atrocious presentation and decided to pitch in... for $2000. I'm going to come back to this point later on, so let's move on.



II. Unified Field Theory/Unified Tours
So, because John Jenkins is such a fucking genius, he decided to pitch something drastically opposite to his previous operation. Now he's proposing that YOU pay for him to PROMOTE HIMSELF by traveling to different universities throughout the US because he's now a fucking journalist.

Apparently he wants to finish up where Albert Einstein's Unified Field Theory was left off. (Einstein was trying to prove that electromagnetism and gravity were different manifestations of a single fundamental field, and spent his final 30 years attempting to combine said elements all of the way to his deathbed)

Mr. Jenkins here is trying to make up HIS own interpretation of the subject matter by... including Christianity for some reason with divine intervention, the government, SPACE and proving the that zero equals one with some dumb ass equation. That's not even close to the plethora of random garbage he spews.

I don't know how to explain it, because of how bizarre it is. His description explains one thing, but his video explains 220 different OTHER things. He doesn't even make an effort in connecting the Unified Theory into whatever the fuck he was trying to say here, it's literally the ramblings of a fucking sociopath.

Oh, and even better, he says he got the idea from playing online video games. Yeah, that pretty much sums up this whole ordeal.

Now, a normal human being would never be stupid enough to donate even a fucking penny to this psycho's confusing bullshit. But all he wanted in the first place was $15, so obviously, people backed this shit. Like what the hell did people see in this preposterous hunk of garbage?

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1784334872/unified-field-theory-discovered/description

Now you may think this might be the end of his insanity, but believe it or not, even if his bullshit was backed, he tried to pitch ONCE AGAIN with a wildly different proposal, AGAIN.



III. The Black James Bond
So Mr. Jenkins wants to be a movie maker, huh? Well, with his impossible jumbled up theories of kindergarten programming and his weird settings based on some unrelated subjects that don't intertwine with each other, clearly he has an outlet for a perfect film! But no, we've got a 007 wannabe that ACTUALLY got funded. But hear this one out.

He wrote this movie script in TWO WEEKS. I swear to God, this is quite possibly the dumbest one. It's not as bizarre, but it's much more fucking stupid than the others.

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1784334872/the-black-james-bond

$50 was successfully funded to this foolish human being... WITHOUT having his script read by any peers, and wants US to pay him to read HIS stupid hunk of shit.

I may not be in the entertainment business or anything, but doesn't a script for a feature length film take up regularly half to a full year, NOT including the time going through rewrites, creating outlines for your characters, setting up your three act structure and your basis, THEN implementing those elements into a screenplay, re-writing your screenplay, editing out the unnecessary parts, THEN having it being analyzed by friends (which this dipshit should have done in the first place) and THEN pitch the script to different studios for them to tell you that the script sucks ass, they don't want it, or for you to be put on hiatus for ANOTHER 9 months before they tell you your un-destined result?

Yeah, this guy's ambition is about as thick as Kool-Aid. If he isn't daydreaming and rambling about a mathematical processing theory that would make even Stephen Hawking shed a tear from how retarded the concept is, he's pissing out a stupid ass movie script more generic than a Rob Schneider comedy.



____
This whole thing shows that the Crowdfunding business is filled with degenerative advertising such as Jenkins's case. These people don't understand that crowdfunding websites should be about expressing your proof of concept to the whole world and gaining support outside of contractual obligations so you can express your ideas the way YOU want. There not for Vlogging stupid theories with nothing to back them up just for the sake of getting free cash.

This website needs to be heavily moderated, because assholes who do these sort of promotions are just quick schemers or people who don't understand copyright infringement or other basic principles that should be common sense.
 
Last edited:

RabbitBucket

Ediot
Joined
Apr 14, 2016
Messages
47
next time, include a proper bibliography, and this dissertation needs to be double-spaced in times new roman font size 12. and where the hell is your title page? and your thesis is a fucking mess!
To be honest this was just something I thought of up on the spot, so I didn't put much effort into how it looked rather than how much I was explaining. I'mma re-edit it a little better.
 

Schnookums

weasel
Joined
May 6, 2013
Messages
4,233
eh, if he's able to sucker enough people then why not? looks like he is getting an easy $200 and probably more per month.
 

RabbitBucket

Ediot
Joined
Apr 14, 2016
Messages
47
eh, if he's able to sucker enough people then why not? looks like he is getting an easy $200 and probably more per month.
It's the principle of the whole thing. It's some random idiot generating feedback for nothing but insanity. Would you feel good knowing that you were cheated out of $50 from some fartknocker who can't even count from 0 to 1?

Still makes more sense than this:
https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/andromium/the-superbook-turn-your-smartphone-into-a-laptop-f

You can now get the decreased power of a phone to use on a laptop. So none of the convenience, and all of the hassle.
Yeah, if it sounds tecchy and inconvenient, it's ought to be the invention right for me!
 

Schnookums

weasel
Joined
May 6, 2013
Messages
4,233
It's the principle of the whole thing. It's some random idiot generating feedback for nothing but insanity. Would you feel good knowing that you were cheated out of $50 from some fartknocker who can't even count from 0 to 1?
they weren't cheated. bad idea was written all over those kickstarters and idiots still opened their wallets.
 

oddguy

The Prime Memeister
Joined
Sep 17, 2011
Messages
26,472
Location
New Jersey
Website
www.youtube.com
jesus christ just post the retsupre videos




this is where you got this from just be honest about it
I liked these videos too, but I didn't make a thread pretending I discovered the guy myself
 

RabbitBucket

Ediot
Joined
Apr 14, 2016
Messages
47
jesus christ just post the retsupre videos




this is where you got this from just be honest about it
I liked these videos too, but I didn't make a thread pretending I discovered the guy myself
"So, recently I've decided to go watch some old Shitstarter videos, starring some of the most sad and pathetic excuses of reasons to fund certain people."

I've pretty much said that at the beginning of this post and you're saying I'm pretending that I found this guy by myself.

OK.
 

Likeicare

EDF is my hugbox
Joined
Mar 31, 2012
Messages
33,099
Location
Melbourne, Australia
Website
lolthisismyhome.com
So, recently I've decided to go watch some old Shitstarter videos, starring some of the most sad and pathetic excuses of reasons to fund certain people. How some of these people are able to conjure up the positive attention of investors is beyond me.

There was one specific example that I've wanted to focus this discussion on, and it goes by the name of John A. "Jules from Pulp Fiction" Jenkins IV.



Oh lord, this guy's a tragedy in the form of a shaggy son of a bitch. His insanity ranges from his profile description to his crowdfunding pitches.

"I am trained as a video editor, 3d modeller, and sound designer. My real passions, however, are in animation and game programming, though these are the subjects in which I find the most difficulty. It is because of this passion that I have chosen a programming project as my introduction to Kickstarter., I have disagreed with the crowdfunding model since its inception, but it is a powerful marketing tool, nonetheless."

Why this guy specifically? Well, to simply put, he is the perfect blend of why these amateur dipshit crowdfunders need to be moderated heavily. Let's start off with his lowpoint, until he hits his descent into madness.



I. Busco Quadnary
See, Johnny-boy here comes up with a halfassed thesis on disproving the logic of basic programming by theorizing that "adding a two in the binary language" is the possible candidate in creating a more powerful 3D engine by having the advantage of programming in FOUR dimensions. Wooh. Totally radical, brah. Came up with that in your coke-induced daydreams, huh?

Visit this atrocious page and watch this video of his "brilliant" Busco Quadnary explanation, complete with Peptol Bismol in the background. WARNING, very boring and very retarded, understandable if you wanna skip it.

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1784334872/4-dimensional-operating-system?ref=profile_created

Notice the backer count. 13 people donated over $100. Either he created 13 accounts or 13 human beings felt pity over his atrocious presentation and decided to pitch in... for $2000. I'm going to come back to this point later on, so let's move on.



II. Unified Field Theory/Unified Tours
So, because John Jenkins is such a fucking genius, he decided to pitch something drastically opposite to his previous operation. Now he's proposing that YOU pay for him to PROMOTE HIMSELF by traveling to different universities throughout the US because he's now a fucking journalist.

Apparently he wants to finish up where Albert Einstein's Unified Field Theory was left off. (Einstein was trying to prove that electromagnetism and gravity were different manifestations of a single fundamental field, and spent his final 30 years attempting to combine said elements all of the way to his deathbed)

Mr. Jenkins here is trying to make up HIS own interpretation of the subject matter by... including Christianity for some reason with divine intervention, the government, SPACE and proving the that zero equals one with some dumb ass equation. That's not even close to the plethora of random garbage he spews.

I don't know how to explain it, because of how bizarre it is. His description explains one thing, but his video explains 220 different OTHER things. He doesn't even make an effort in connecting the Unified Theory into whatever the fuck he was trying to say here, it's literally the ramblings of a fucking sociopath.

Oh, and even better, he says he got the idea from playing online video games. Yeah, that pretty much sums up this whole ordeal.

Now, a normal human being would never be stupid enough to donate even a fucking penny to this psycho's confusing bullshit. But all he wanted in the first place was $15, so obviously, people backed this shit. Like what the hell did people see in this preposterous hunk of garbage?

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1784334872/unified-field-theory-discovered/description

Now you may think this might be the end of his insanity, but believe it or not, even if his bullshit was backed, he tried to pitch ONCE AGAIN with a wildly different proposal, AGAIN.



III. The Black James Bond
So Mr. Jenkins wants to be a movie maker, huh? Well, with his impossible jumbled up theories of kindergarten programming and his weird settings based on some unrelated subjects that don't intertwine with each other, clearly he has an outlet for a perfect film! But no, we've got a 007 wannabe that ACTUALLY got funded. But hear this one out.

He wrote this movie script in TWO WEEKS. I swear to God, this is quite possibly the dumbest one. It's not as bizarre, but it's much more fucking stupid than the others.

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1784334872/the-black-james-bond

$50 was successfully funded to this foolish human being... WITHOUT having his script read by any peers, and wants US to pay him to read HIS stupid hunk of shit.

I may not be in the entertainment business or anything, but doesn't a script for a feature length film take up regularly half to a full year, NOT including the time going through rewrites, creating outlines for your characters, setting up your three act structure and your basis, THEN implementing those elements into a screenplay, re-writing your screenplay, editing out the unnecessary parts, THEN having it being analyzed by friends (which this dipshit should have done in the first place) and THEN pitch the script to different studios for them to tell you that the script sucks ass, they don't want it, or for you to be put on hiatus for ANOTHER 9 months before they tell you your un-destined result?

Yeah, this guy's ambition is about as thick as Kool-Aid. If he isn't daydreaming and rambling about a mathematical processing theory that would make even Stephen Hawking shed a tear from how retarded the concept is, he's pissing out a stupid ass movie script more generic than a Rob Schneider comedy.



____
This whole thing shows that the Crowdfunding business is filled with degenerative advertising such as Jenkins's case. These people don't understand that crowdfunding websites should be about expressing your proof of concept to the whole world and gaining support outside of contractual obligations so you can express your ideas the way YOU want. There not for Vlogging stupid theories with nothing to back them up just for the sake of getting free cash.

This website needs to be heavily moderated, because assholes who do these sort of promotions are just quick schemers or people who don't understand copyright infringement or other basic principles that should be common sense.
Whats your name on Kiwi Farms
 

RiKio

EDF Elite
Joined
Nov 19, 2012
Messages
674


I. Busco Quadnary
See, Johnny-boy here comes up with a halfassed thesis on disproving the logic of basic programming by theorizing that "adding a two in the binary language" is the possible candidate in creating a more powerful 3D engine by having the advantage of programming in FOUR dimensions. Wooh. Totally radical, brah. Came up with that in your coke-induced daydreams, huh?
Fun fact: Ternary computers were actually made https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Setun

Appart from that, this thread sucks
 
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