Play Fallopoly

@Whatever rolls 2.
With the devils own luck, Cat escapes another night of Super Mutant dick tickling the back of his throat through the stomach.

everything is still fucked.

but thank you for mocking me in my time of darkness

Was it attached to an old lady? If then I need the DEETS.

I couldn't even get on yesterday

@Sugar Bombs rolls 7.
You come to see a colorful scrap of paper sticking up from the surrounding scrubland. Investigating further, you see that it is the corner of a twelve pack of Nuka Red, in cans. Although you thought they only came in bottles, Nuka is Nuka, and you quickly down the remaining three cans.

You aren't sure if it is too many rads, or merely too much sun, but you soon witness the strangest sight yet of your many adventures. As you nurse the last of he Nuka, already wondering how you will get more, you see a large anthropomorphic phallus struggle to escape a tight sewer pipe. As the slime covered pipe gives birth to its ramrod and balls baby, some Super Mutants accost you. "You seen our dick lady?" "Yea, dat one's our dick" they say. They appear especially dim, as they do not notice what is going on behind you.
You can either: turn Scumhook in for a 50 cap reward, or bluff the Super Mutants, and risk Jail yourself.

@HeliosOne rolls 11.
In your own personal hell, you suddenly receive a telegram. It is of the singing variety.

I am a stange hat that wears a stange man
into the wastes I walk, with bottlecaps in hand
The Republic of Dave I seek to possesss
sign over the deed and I shall ease your anal distress.

Uberfukken offers to pay your way out of Jail for the deed to the Rebublic of Dave.

@scumhook rolls 7.
Better hope Sugar Bombs is more respectful of digestive processes than the Super Mutants.

@minty rolls 8.
Arriving at the Rebublic of Dave, you can see that the place is a mess. People scramble madly and everyone seems to be armed. As you turn to move on, you are ambushed by two of the townspeople. "Got one of 'em over here, Captain." The Captain quickly runs up. "That ain't a Raider, Dummy" he says, slapping his subordinate upside the head. "Raiders wear pants. All the same stranger, we are going to have to change you a moving through fee. Eight caps should do it." he says with a smile.
You must come up with 8 caps by your next turn (beg, borrow, or steal), or you will be forced to mortgage your property.

@The Satanist
You have until 10:48 tonight (March 31) to decide to purchase or not, otherwise play will move on automatically.

As in details?
You found a kind old ladies purse, but decided to keep the money inside, instead of returning it to the address on the card inside.

Sweet

I want to give them @scumhook.
What's he done for me lately?
/burp

You turn an point out the strange birth behind you "Is that it?" "Thanks lady" says the Super Mutant, flipping you 50 bottlecaps in rapid succession, before joining his howling brethren in as they repack the sewer pipe with vigorous pelvic thrusts.

@scumhook
As if you are some obscene Winnie the Pooh(pipe), you are bludgeoned about the face and mouth with stubbly Super Mutant members, whilst stuck halfway out of your last hope of daylight. Eventually the Super Mutants pop you out and drag you back to jail.

@The Satanist rolls 5.
Coming up on the Republic of Dave, you are fined 8 bottlecaps and sent on your way.

@Greed rolls 6.
Retracing familiar territory, you once again slip into the Yao Guai Tunnels.

@uberfukken rolls 8.
Coming up on Springvale Elementary, Mr. Topemhat decides not to purchase, as I don't feel like trying to post the deed with the forum all fucked like this.

@Whatever rolls 12 (doubles obviously).
Your factory's production line is in full swing, as an archaic pneumatic system somehow delivers you dividends to the tune of 100 bottlecaps.

Everybody already walks all over you. No need to make it official.

steal... there's gotta be some panhandling child i can easily swipe some caps off of nearby

How insightful, for a fat sack of crap who gets pinkeye every time he takes a breath.