LOL TomPreston did it again!

Yeah but this is another case of "this joke could be told in any videogame." much like the L.A. Noir joke.

The Navi joke is slightly amusing, but overused, and again the set up takes too goddamn long. They didn't really need the "MY GOD" panel.

That's gotta be the shitiest depiction of Navi I've seen: she reminds me of those fuzzy pompons we made out of yarn in gradeschool for Arts and Crafts class.

And her wings look pretty shitty too... even Geznoman could draw a better-looking Navi.

But that's the least of this comics problems. Like it has been said before, the comic would've been a bit funny, but the shitty artwork and the equally shitty writing ruins it.

And that Alex ze Pirate comic... wow... that was extremely anti-climactic. Now, I admit, knowing Dobson's lack of talent in storytelling, I didn't expect much from this story since the first pages showed up... but on the other hand I didn't think it would end up being like this.

The whole storyline is pointless. It would've been interesting had that cabin boy not returned to the island and instead went on on a journey of his own and maybe even ended up with another crew, forcing Alex and co to look for him - this is story is pretty cliche, but at least it would've provided a far better read than this miserable piece of shit we got here. Not to mention, it also would've provided a sense of adventure into the comic - because, to my knowledge, that's one of the many things a comic revolving around pirates should be about: an adventure. Something which Dobson's "totally not ripped off from every single Rumiko Takahashi works" pirates obviously don't have.

Having the kid come back and then Alex and other grovel over how sorry they are and then everything ending with a corny-as-fuck scene, further cements Dobson as an uninspired, talentless hack of a writer.

And if this story is supposed to be a remake of the one Dobson planned out years ago, I dread to think what the original would've looked like.

Exactly. One would think a comic about Pirates would be exciting and full of adventure.

Although it did end as I expected. His panels-per-page towards the end got reduced compared to the earlier pages ( the lulzcats of which were pimped out before he posted it had less page time throughout the whole thing ) All of his stories, whether it be SYAC or AzP, are evidence Dobson is a panster. He has an idea and just draws/writes as he goes which results in pointless stories, rushed endings, and inconsistent scene pacing. ( some are way too long, others are way too short )

He also doesn't have climaxes and endings thought out before hand. When he's stumped he probably comes up with something on the fly and will comment " what a twist ". It's not a twist, he had no idea what to do because he wrote himself into a corner.

Others have said they could write a AzP comic better than what Dobson has, but no one ever does. I too thought about this wondering why no one has taken that challenge and came to realized any effort would fail before it's started because of the characters. We all know the side characters are as vanilla as hell, but his protagonist Alex is equally generic.

What are Alex's goals?

Hell, just being rich by plundering is a goal. But none of his stories seem to be centered around that. It's all goofing around crap with the lame gimmick of gay-guys thinking Alex is a boy ( not weird what-so-ever ) and the other gimmicks of a lesbian and perverted uncle. The character itself needs to be rewritten, but that's implying she was written to begin with.

If this was my abortion, I'd base Alex off this one famous pirate ( of whom I forgot his name, lol ) who became a Pirate Captain by accident. He was a navigator for a cargo ship that got plundered, but because the Pirates needed a navigator they kept him. Later when the Captain died, the crew voted the Navigator as the Captain and he became a ruthless Pirate who had a " fuck everybody " philosophy in life.

Now AzP seems too lighthearted for that, but I'd also look at famous female pirates in history. Just by doing the least amount of research I did I already got an idea of having Alex being a navigator/2nd mate for a Captain. But instead of being made Captain herself, I'd modern it up where she got passed up for being a woman. Generic yes, but now she has a goal. She wants to prove she could be a Captain and better than whoever the crew voted in.

Oh hell, now we got a RIVAL for Alex. Something protagonists need to, oh I dunno, create drama which also creates stories. Now Dobby would see this and think " that's just a trope ". Oh yeah, it's been done before. Thousands of times. BUT THAT'S HOW STORIES ARE BORN.

Without a rival or goal, coming up with problems for the protagonist to solve becomes nearly impossible. Which results in a 45 page comic about Alex pissing her cabin-boy off and trying to find him. Oh how exciting.

And since Dobby loves his twists, make a big reveal at the end where the person who replaced Alex was a woman in disguise. Make it even more of a twist that the Rival is actually better than Alex and Alex carried the weight of " it's because I'm a woman " throughout the comic. When really she wasn't up to the task.

Her faults could also result in zany adventures with Alex and her rag-tag crew fudging everything up. Heck lets have another trope, have a story where her crew mutiny's.

But that would take work. That would take effort. That right there would be a fun read compared to everything he's done. His original creative process must have been this...1) I wanna make a pirate comic 2) make a pirate comic.

There's a lot more to it then that, which is why the world needs Dobson and Dobson threads so those who really care about putting out good products have a measuring tool on what not to do. A tool I've used to create my ideas where I find myself asking questions like " What is goal of this story?", " does the protagonist change or stay the same?", " are there any lessons to be learned?", " Is my Climax and Ending rewarding enough for the reader."

In the end writing isn't something to gawk at or take for granted. It's serious business, and if Dobby took it seriously people would overlook most of his artistic shortcomings. I know this because there are webcomics I read where the art is so-so and pages are composed horribly just like Dobsons, but unlike Dobson's work those stories are actually entertaining. The only thing entertainment he provides is how half-ass all his stuff is.

Sorry for the wall text, but as someone mentioned in another thread I find these threads can be a great source of information when material is really broken down. Which is why I got a chuckle when Dobson asked where he could get " good " critiques for his stuff. He needs to lurk more in threads like this and SA ( before the White Knight Mod )

I found both threads to be a fountain of useful information. I've probably learned more from Dobson bashing than anything else. It seems wrong, but I use to be like him. Only difference is I killed that person I use to be because I came to the harsh reality that what I was doing wasn't working. The effort I put into my stuff wasn't enough.

That reminds of a advice Dobby gave once about creating characters, he basically said "Write the story first and discover your characters throughout it" (wish i have it screencapped)

just goes to show how much thought he puts in all of his characters.

If the art isn't something to rip on (it's not too bad for once), it's the Buckley Syndrome Dobson and Brent seem to have and an overused joke/meme people got over 13 years ago.

wait, i'm confused. does the little tutorial shit on the wii u actually say 'hey, listen!'? because if it does...

i thought the joke was, that the commentator on the wii u says 'hey, listen!' just like navi
not actually a joke about how navi says 'hey, listen!'

i realised it's overused as fuck, and i would bargain that someone else said 'wait a minute..' but for the first time ever:

a) brentalfuck comic is not sorely outdated [wii u just came out like, last week or some shit]
and
b) it was actually a shot of humour, that, while it missed the mark, at least it didn't dodge the target by 10 miles.
and i guess at LEAST it's not one of those 'lolnavi' things in a comic nothing about ninten.

the central joke isn't about navi, it's about how the voice sounds eerily close to navi, like a cruel, sick joke ninten pulled.

unless it never says that, then whatever.
but seriously, i like to nitpick as much as the rest of you, but if the shit actually does sound like navi and actually is all 'HEY LISTEN' then there might be a bit of legitimacy and the central joke isn't about 'lolnavi' but 'lolwiiuwutudoin'

tho that's putting too much faith in these assfucks so.

Perhaps some research is in order. I'll be back.

I think you're giving them too much credit, but again I never used the Wii U too much to know if does a lolnavi noise (I doubt it). There are better Wii U jokes out there that don't resort to overused memes.

The joke is more or less my only gripe with the strip. It could have been done so much better, but these guys suck ay anything that isn't singing over 8-bit songs.

Nope.

Nothing here even relatively close to Navi that I've seen. The voice is... how to put it? I guess emotionally stunted since it's kind of robot-y?
Certainly no "Hey, Listen!" present that I have seen.
Should I "research" more? (I.E google/search youtube for more evidence of shortcomings. Again, took me 5 minutes.)

oh trust me i think i am too. i'm just in a generous mood, and thinking -maybe- we missed the point. maybe.
plus the rest of the wii u jokes are basically 'look at the fucked up controllers man', and you know they're not going to disgrace nintendo by making fun of their mistakes. no way.

wow, they really could have taken better shots that would be outdated, but shit.
well, i tried. i tried to say 'hold on a minute guys'.

off the point entirely: that 'look with the gamepad' shit looks annoying as fuck.

All that tutorial shit in any video game has always been fucking annoying as shit. It's like they think the people who are buying their shitty game have never actually played one before.
Why didn't they make THAT joke? Sure, it's something that's been getting popularized, but why not?
Why not show several games that do that shit and then come to Nintendo's Wii U announcing how CUTTING EDGE it will be, then you play the first fucking game and it does the same exact shit as every other game has ever done, if not worse because of the obnoxious controls?

But as you have said, they wouldn't dare do that, because God forbid they admit that Nintendo has made the same mistake Sega made in the 90s (too many consoles, no games)

You forgot that Brent and Dobson are manchildren who only make outdated jokes no one cares about, and barely talk about current pop culture despite whatever they say.

Genzoman has in fact drawn a funnier depiction of Navi than these idiots could:

My apologies, thank you for reminding me. I keep making the mistake that whatever I say here will actually sink in to one of them at some point lol (I then remember that they will never grow out of this)

It's sad, but not much of a surprise knowing a shitty anime artist did a better Navi joke than two manchildren idiots who try to be funny.

One day they'll learn their duck meme is too retarded to be taken seriously...we can dream, right?

Don't give up the fight.

Not only is it retarded, unfunny, and not even memetic, but nobody likes a forced meme.

I guess they still don't realize the actual meme of every comic ending with Dobby inflation porn, the only meme that will ever be associated with them.

Reading over the new bits in the thread, and especially with Lafinman's post there... I think I came up with a plausible ending to my own comic...

I dunno if i should feel bad about this because in a way it means Dobson helped with the ending of my story...