Fuck you I'm a dragon! The otherkin thread

That's what I'd like to know! Let the squirrel cuisine spam began!

The fuck is this shit


oh

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!


This sounds like a troll though

I've had a brilliant idea. I think we need to put our heads together and create the most abhorrent Tumblr blog the world has ever seen. I mean just take all the horrible things about people on Tumblr and combine them into one super tard fictional personality. Then we see if anyone bats an eye when we start spouting our bullshit.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmm. Continue

In essence, take Squirrel girl, dial her up by 20, and then let the cancer spread. The hypothesis is : "Can you make someone who is too shitty even for Tumblr?"

Best of luck, I'd be interested to see if you can pull it off with Poe's Law in full effect.

Actually why not? Why doesn't she murder some people for real? So authorities can finally send her to prison mental institution, where she belongs?

Maybe a multigendered, pansexual, six-breasted alien naga otherkin/therian for starters who is a dawkins-level atheist but has a headmate that believes in psychological reincarnation and has a deep interest in the LGBTTQQAPDI2S-etc-etc-etc (including Djiin) movement of lesser known sexual orientations and genders as well as fully supporting feminazis and all branches of the SJW movement?
No wait, that one's already taken by many others...

Don't forget to make her have some self-diagnosed mental disease or condition, or perhaps an imaginary handicap, because ABLEIST PRIVILEDGES

Dis nigga right here.
Om nom nom.
That delicious squirrel.

Shall we gentlemen? Operation Squirrel-on-a-stick is a go?

Her last post was a week ago, let's wait and see if she still has access to her account before we put in effort.

Point taken, but that should not stop us from immortalizing her with a page, and setting up the ground game.
Also, we need squirrel r34 up in this bitch.

IDK I can imagine people who sit around tryharding to add various mental issues to their diagnostic profile. Sort of like how "WoW" added achievements.

Who was the first sort of online community to set up an achievement system like that?

my otherkin is another person's headmate

I'll boost you if you actually do it. I've done it before. I harass the shit out of you and people come to your defense. These people become your friends, and BOOM you're in their shitty Homestuck circle.

• my name is kaikura. it means squirrel in south african.
• i’m 19 years old.
• i’m non-binary/trigender (only due to my natural multiplicity). i identify predominantly as female.
• i’m also a proud feminist.
• i am asexual. i used to think i was demisexual because i could only form sexual attractions after knowing someone for a longtime, but upon much introspection and meditation, i have determined myself to be asexual instead. i am not attracted to anything or anyone in a sexual manner.
• i am attracted to squirrels, but not sexually. i would go on a date with a squirrel and maybe cuddle, but nothing else.
• i am squirrelkin. i identify as a squirrel spiritually, cognitively, and psychologically.
• i am totally vegan. i eat only nuts. before you comment on how that is unhealthy, i also take a multivitamin every morning to prevent malnutrition or other illnesses.
• i experience a natural multiplicity. my headmates are beatrice and ralph, but i haven’t heard from them recently. they may post from time to time. i am the dominant one in the multiplicity.
• i suffer from PTSD, depression, and severe anxiety. i may have an autism-spectrum disorder, but we’re not sure yet. i’ll keep y’all updated.
• i’m a plus-size lady and proud of it! body positivity is important to me.

What in the cunting hell am i even reading?
This is causing an actual headache holy fuck.

I found this insanely long rant by an axolotl-kin who explains in great detail his and tumblr's "hate" for male cis scum. This might be worth posting on the wiki somewhere.

http://damegreywulf.tumblr.com/post/71586570300/sheikofthesheikah-bigyachtsandmoney

All his rant consists of:
-Our irrational hate is just venting
-Our irrational hate are just jokes
-If you are bothered or offended by what we say, you must of done something to warrant it
-You are part of the problem.

I swear he must have been raised in a cozy, middle-class home and taught to think he's a snowflake.


Why am I not surprised?

That will be a kickass COPS episode;

COPS; OTHERKIN UNCUT

Officers Harris and Officer Klebold are at a domestic disturbance, both suspects are overweight Otherkin and the TCPS (Tumblr Child Protection Services) are involved.
Officer Harris; "Stop resisting si-"
Dragonkin; "You fucking cis bigot i am a dragonkin not a sir, i shall sue, what is your badge number!"
"False arrest!"
"FALSE ARREST! WE SHALL OVERCOME!"
Officer Klebold; *is trying to hold down the female of the two, a catkin* "Ma'am, MA'AM please stop making that noise at me!"
Catkin; *hisses, spittle flying into Officer Klebolds face*

20 minutes later, both suspects are in special Otherkin Holding Trucks, made to withstand the weight of the average Otherkin while they are being transported to the closest Tumblr correctional facility.

*Cameraman moves in on a shell-shocked TCPS worker sitting at the steps of the Otherkin residence*
Cameraman; "How bad was it?"
TCPS Worker; "Ya'know, this ain't the worst I've seen, man, on the Tumblr Child Protection Services you see some shit, the kid in there had it lucky, he only had Rule 34 Spyro pictures all over his room, so many dragon cocks man, how can a normal child survive out here?"
Cameraman; "It gets worse than that?"
TCPS Worker; "Yeah, last week we were called into a disturbance, two furrys glued a fursuit to their own kid.
He is gonna be a furfag forever."

Lel.