fanfiction thread

Captain Unfunny · 21 März 2015

Sonic meets Metallica.

WhiteOmega · 21 März 2015

Muh Masterpiece, for those who may have missed it on the TP thread:

Zitat von WhiteOmega: ↑

Also...since I'll be away this evening, I would like to post my surprise 2000th post now.

I worked very hard on this, so no flames okay?! I don't want anyone correcting me on my masterpiece, so only praises will be alowed and any spellig errors ar inttentional you fuchs!

"The 2000th Page"

By WhiteOmega

NO FLAMES PLZ

He typed furiously on the keyboard, hoping that perhaps today would be the day. Andy, more commonly known as Tom Preston on the internet, always kept an eye not only on his Apple Iphone with his twitter accounts, but he would also wait. Wait to check his Patrion accounts as well as his Twitter feed. Today could possibly be that day. The day that he is finally acknowledged not only by his feminist friends, but possibly Brianna Wu would finally acknowledge his existence, even though he was a white privileged man. He patiently waited for his Mac to load up the internet page. Sweat that smelled sweetly like McDonalds french fries dripped down his forehead. He bit his lower lip. Finally the page loaded, he checked his notifications and inboxes to find...

Nothing. No new important notes, no new Patrions, nothing important other than the quiet praises he received from fans. However out of all twenty notes of encouragement there was one lone voice that had the audacity to ask him if he was going to ever update his DA page, because he 'loved seeing his artwork and missed it deeply'. Fuckers. All of them. How could they not see that he was trying to make a living off his artwork now! That they were basically ripping him off everyday with their free views of his artwork. Why oh why did they not leave him alone! He furiously vented on Twitter; those fuckers made him do this! It's their fault for criticizing him so badly that now he had NO choice BUT to vent out his side of the story. He was tired, tired of all the hate that always ruined his whole day.

“I'm going to go sleep now,” he wrote in his last tweet, “thanks to all these trolls and haters now I have no choice. It's their fault that I can't be more productive! Tom Preston, sighing out! SIGH...” he hit the enter key with the flick of his wrist and turned away from his computer. He looked around his apartment, cardboard boxes still stacked somewhat neatly throughout the living room. He was going to get around to unboxing everything, it's just he liked going at his own pace and whenever a visitor would say something about it, it just made him not want to do it all the more. That is, when the last visitor came over, they did. Come to think of it, when was the last visitor? He pondered and pondered about it, but it didn't matter anyway. He didn't need them, he didn't need his roommate girlfriend. She had left some time ago, he didn't remember why...it was probably her fault anyway. He looked at the time, it was almost five o'clock. If he hurried, he could beat the drive-through line at McDonalds! He reached into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet. When he looked inside, there was no cash. There wasn't any money in his checking account either and his credit cards were too full to put any more money on them. Tom sighed a very heavy sigh.

“If they only excepted my food stamps,” he sighed to nobody, “then I'd be set. I don't want to cook tonight...I really don't know how to...other than a microwave potato.” His stomach rumbled, demanding more McNuggets with a diet coke on the side. Suddenly he thought he heard someone opening his door. Nah, impossible. Nobody would come over, nobody did. Even if they did they would surely knock. His thoughts returned to the dilemma of dinner. Perhaps if he telephoned his parents he could hit them up for a few hundred bucks...or at least have them bring some McDonalds over with them for a 'visit'. He heard someone clear their voice behind him. He wasn't alone. He spun around. In the doorway of the kitchen was a tall thin man. He was leaning on his arm that rested against the doorway, his other hand resting on his hip.

“Hey Tom,” said the man, “just wanted to congratulate you on your 2000th page on EDF2,” the thin man's lips curled into a smug smile, “really, we're all very proud.” Tom could feel the anger boiling up.

“Get out of my house,” Tom bellowed out, trying not to let his voice crack, “why can't you guys just leave me alone! You've never done a thing for me ever!” The thin man smiled, and adjusted his stance, placing both hands on his hips.

“Now,” said the man, “that's just not true. I've given you money...even though it took you four months to finish the drawing.” Tom quivered in anger.

“It's YOU,” he pointed with pure venom in his voice, “you're that Baconmoose! You fuck! You and all the other EDF2 trolls can go chock on a dick!” Baconmoose smiled, he almost seemed happy that Tom remembered. He laughed, but it wasn't a smug trolling laugh...more as if Tom had said something cute.

“Well, I hope nobody will be choking tonight” said Baconmoose, “it'll ruin...your surprise.”

“Surprise? What surprise?” Baconmoose playfully waved for him to follow. Tom followed out of curiosity. When they reached the living room again, sitting on the couch was at least ten or more McDonalds bags, each one filled to the top with the greasy goodness.

“What is...” Tom asked blindly, his senses were overcome with hunger and the delicious smell of the food. Baconmoose chuckled.

“We just wanted to say, 'thank you' for all the laughs that you've given us over the years,” he said as he guided Tom down onto the couch, “We're all contributing something tonight...this is one of mine.”

“What do you-”

“Hush,” the thin man ordered, as he unwrapped a hamburger, “no more words.” Baconmoose took a bite out of the hamburger and chewed it for a moment. Then before he could think, the man pulled Tom into a embrace, kissing him passionately while forcing the masticated food inside his. Tom didn't...couldn't think. The foreign tongue, along with the blissful taste of the processed meat was overwhelming. Finally, the man finished the kiss and looked deeply into his eyes.

“Now,” he said in a whisper, “swallow it.” Tom did out of reaction to the command. He had never done anything like that in his whole 33 years of life...not even with another girl! Baconmoose smiled at him, while wiping away a speck of food away from his own chin.

“That was-” but again, Tom was interrupted when Baconmoose shoved the rest of the hamburger into his mouth. Normally a hamburger would be a lot for a person to put into their mouth, however, Tom had been doing that since he was ten so this dollar burger was no challenge to chew. Baconmoose almost purred as he unwrapped the next one.

“Got room for one more?” asked a new voice. Both Baconmoose and Tom turned to look at the new voice. Now standing in the doorway was SquatMeatThurst, standing in the doorway with groceries bags, filled with what was unknown.

“Bring your queer-ass over here,” called out Baconmoose, “there's gonna be plenty of Tom for everyone!” Before Tom could react, he had another burger forced into his mouth. He was being overwhelmed, soon there were two men stroking and caressing him, both whispering things to each other while one or the other would giggle. Tom's head was swimming, being feed McDonalds was one thing, but FREE hamburgers was another.

“This sausage fest got room for a pair of titties?!” Tom once again looked up, there standing triumphantly was Bunu, he pink hair blowing in some wind that had no effect on the others, eyes sparkling....wearing the largest strap-on Tom had ever seen.

“Girl~,” said SuatMeatThrust, “you can't have his ass, that's MY territory.”

“Yours?” asked Baconmoose.

“Why else do you think I'm called Meat THRUST!” he said thrusting his hips forward with a smile.

“Bitches please,” said Bunu pushing them aside, 'you all know that Tom is MY man,” she said with all the sass of every black woman in America, “so move all'y'all's gay bitch asses out of MY way so I can have me some of that fine fine Dobson ass!”

“Girl please,” said Baconmoose, “slow your roll. Why settle for the ass when you can have Preston Pecker?!” Bunu thought long and deep, what would be more satisfying...pounding Preston or Preston Pecker mockery?

“Well, fine then,” she said taking off the strap-on, “come on Tommy,” she said reaching down deep into Preston's pants, “lets see what we got here!” Tom whimpered. This wasn't sexy at all! Sure at first the food was good, but now he was at the mercy of a superior being. What he himself had always wanted to be.

“Daaaaamn,” sighed out Bunu, “I can't find the sonsofbitches you call balls! FUCK!!” She ripped the pants and underwear down and looked for them.

“Shit...still can't find 'em!”

“Cuz the fucker don't got them,” said Mortalsword tipping his cowboy hat up, gazing at the sight, “why don't you move out of the way and let a REAL man show you how it's done.” he picked up the strap on and looked at it.

“You got the Cumthruster 9000,” he said looking at her, “smart, it's perfect at what we wanna do.”

“D-Do what?” asked Tom with food still in his mouth by both Bacon and Squat.

“Quiet.” was all Mortal spat out. He put the strap on around his waist, and with a force that didn't seem possible with Tom's weight, flipped the man around on the couch.

“You keep looking for the fucker's supposed balls,” said Mortal to Bunu, “I'm going in DRY!” Now Tom attempted to squirm away but now there were other people holding him down. They were all there:

Jellybean, ThePrestonCritic, Doodleclown, Blandwagon, Pigeonhole, Snarks, GalacticFarts, DoubleDGook, MotorRoach, DNJACK, Lou 500, Repaint, MashedPotatoes,GeneralFaggotry, Gaegogi, Hammy, Jerk, Krokaodilian, FuanasEdan, UncleSchomo, Fleacollerindustry, Slimelurker and other's I can't be fuckin' bothered to name...all of them one way or another was either holding him down while touching him inappropriately or where masturbating vigorously while moaning “ah, fuck yeah TOM PRESTON FUCK FEST!!!”

Tom felt it. It was like a horse cock going in. Mortal showed no mercy in his entry thrust. Tom cried out, but every time he opened his mouth, someone would shove a burger in. Soon Mortal had a steady rhythm in his thrusting.

“You like that bitch,” asked Mortal with gritted teeth, “you like this fake cock in your ass?”

“What's wrong Tom,” said UncleSchomo mockingly, “I though you liked McDonalds, don't you want to finish these?” Tom was unable to answer, he was seeing sparks and felt funny down below. He didn't notice some of the other users as they took the remaining food into the kitchen.

“Oh!” said Pigeonhole, “I see it, I see it! Look!” As if for the first time, Toms' slowly emerged.

“It's so little,” said GobbleDGook, “it's kinda cute!”

“Hello 'iddle baby ,” said Jellybean who playfully stroked the tip of as if petting it, “hello little guy!”

“Move out of my way you whore bitch-slapped fucks,” bellowed out Bunu as she mercilessly pushed users away, “THAT MICRO COCK IS MINE!!” and with a similar force of a vacuum did Bunu's lips surround the entire length of Tom's three inches. Tom gasped. For the first time in his life was he finally getting a blow-job that wasn't from himself.

“Get the cock pump ready,” said Mortal to the others, “this boy is about to go into orbit.”

Meanwhile, the other EDF2 members grew curious as what was happening on the pussy threads known as the DA subsection when they could hear the moaning.

“What the shittin' fuck is going on over in pussy fuck central,” inquired LikeIcare as if he truly cared.

“Fuckers are finally fucking the fucker.” said Endensten all cool like...as to not give away that she was deeply turned on by all this.

“Is it at least hot to watch,” asked Uberfuckin turning to the authority of fap, Scumhook. Scumhook looked down at the scene that was playing out. The orgy before them all of moaning and fat-fuckey. He slurped back in the saliva and without gazing away he said in his raspy slurpy voice,

“Ughu....this shit is....UNFAPPABLE!” he said reaching down his pants and started to stroke his member regardless of the unfappapleness of it all.

“I though you said it wasn't?” said Endensten, but was answered with Australian grunting and more slurping sounds.

“Zainger,” asked ILoveJesus69, “can we finally lock the damn Preston thread now?”

“....Ugh....NO!” moaned Zainger as he and Oddguy were making out, come over from all the sex smell in the air..while Lasurus+ filmed it.

Back at the sex scene, the others had pureed the hamburgers and fries and nuggets into a thick dark soup and had put it into a large feeding tube with plunger. They forcefully put it past Tom's mouth and down his throat, while on the other end the Cumthruster 9000's cumming action was being loaded with bottles and bottles of soda. Tom's world was only pain and pleasure. The humiliation and thrill of being the sex thing of his mortal enemies, the food...the inflation! It was all too much to bear...lol get it?

“Here IT CUMS!” yelled out Mortal as he pused the button on the Cumthruster. The Cumthruster began to ejaculate the soda deep into Preston's ass with such a force that it nearly shot Mortal backwards. The feeders in front at the same time pushed down as hard as they could on the plunger. The pressure quickly mounted inside Tom's tummy. He was growing bigger and bigger and it felt sooooo good. Suddenly, he could feel it. This was it. He was going to...

*BOOOOOOM*

Tom Preston exploded with tremendous force. Blood, guts, spit and ass was flying everywhere. All of the DA subsection was rolling around in the blood and shit and ass, all reaching a climax that none had reached before nor will ever reach again.

And then they all died of mega-AIDS.

The End.

-------------------

And no bitching if I left you out...because I don't care.

ChickenBoo · 22 März 2015

Zitat von WhiteOmega: ↑

Muh Masterpiece, for those who may have missed it on the TP thread:

Awww, I'm not in it.

WhiteOmega · 23 März 2015

Zitat von ChickenBoo: ↑

Awww, I'm not in it.

Yeah you were, you were the McNuggets.

ChickenBoo · 23 März 2015

Zitat von WhiteOmega: ↑

Yeah you were, you were the McNuggets.

That right. I'm happy now!

Anmelden oder registrieren

fanfiction thread

Captain Unfunny EDF Hero

WhiteOmega EDF Hero

ChickenBoo EDF Elite

WhiteOmega EDF Hero

ChickenBoo EDF Elite

Die Seite empfehlen