Canadian Drainwater's Buttpirate Adventures

I should an hero right now considering that I had typed that word wrong three or four times before spellchecking and still getting it wrong.

I accidentally (or not) watched that clip before going through her character design sheets and I about smacked my brain out of my ear from face palming so hard. There are so many things wrong with it, but the part that grates me the most about her animation is the obvious motion tween float walk Cecilia does when she goes to pick up the bowl of oil. Not to mention, the same fucking walk gets RE-USED barely seconds from each other.

Why the fuck is she flirting with him? Why the fuck does he not realize something is wrong? "She tricked him into coming into her house so she could feed her babies!!! Duh!!" Not seeing it. The children weren't necessary as characters at all, the "story" could have been told just as well with Cecilia and the Fat Man.

The entire thing is sickening. The smugness on both the Fat Man (his actual reference) and Cecilia is vomit-inducing. Nothing makes sense. I didn't even know Cecilia and her children were meant to represent ANYTHING when I watched it. (Death? Famine? What the fuck do the Horsemen have to do with this shit? Oh wait, she's just being really deep. How shallow of me.)

Also, there's a ton of experimentation going on in the character design, like a grand total of six different hairstyles oh my god:

Why are all her characters perpetually perched on their tiptoes and how the fuck is Cecilia standing like that without breaking a bone somewhere just jesus christ my eyes. Also notice how there is literally not an ounce of difference between the "different body types" she sketched out in the top left.

She made designs for the fatass and children too but I'm not going into that. I think the children were her excuse to just draw cutesy stuff and be as edgy as possible while showing off her insane creativity ("Look at ALL the meanings they are meant to represent! Betcha didn't see that coming!")



where are his ankles
why does he have double deltoids
lady fingers
Oh no wait it's just artistic creativity at work, excuse me while I pour gasoline over my eyes and then hold my head in the oven.

And if Humon's weakness is same-smugface, Drainwater has same-sexface. This dude has Captain McFlamingCock's eyes, as does almost everything else in her gallery:



Don't even get me started on her sequential art. Her comics fucking suck. Which is funny, because that's apparently what she's more interested in than animation and what she hopes to do once graduating. Never mind the nonstop, unnecessary dialogue. There's no sense of paneling or layout in any of them. Most of the panels consist of nothing but faces, because it's obvious that's what she loves drawing the most. Between panels everything, there's literally no difference in how the characters are framed. Just mid shot, mid shot, mid shot... Take the heads from all the panels and line them up. They're exactly the same scale. If that hasn't tipped you off that your framing and composition sucks, especially if your scene appears like it's meant to be a different shot... I don't know what will.




She has random bits of her drawing overlapping her speech bubbles, or sticking out of frames. That tiny pixel of Louis's hair covering "Really, your faith in me is inspir--" is particularly unforgivable. Also, drawing two lines in between panels is NOT how you link speech bubbles together. Jesus.

I'd rant more but I'm pretty sure I'm about hitting character limit by now. Also, she's on Neopets. Where she has - surprise, surprise - another faggot pirate character. And yup, she's still active on it.




Because that monstrosity above and these things are totally the same species.

Wow, I have never seen her comics. That is really bad. Especially not showing the people they are running from or the dude he shot. Did she really think that would look and play out good? It took him four fucking panels to get the gun and shoot the guy. Her comic's plot must be about these two dudes in the style of the Odd Couple.
For two dudes who don't like each other, they really seem to like each other. It's like a fucking Indian style soap opera.

Sexy face is a closely related cousin to smug face, really.

You know you're reading a quality-made comic when you see the same exact piss-colored background for 14 panels straight

Aside from all of these drawings making me want to cry because it just hurts to look at it, there's some things in her notes that I find hilarious.

By which she means: "Choose the most stereotypical traits to state it outright."

I cannot imagine anything giving birth to anything else with that kind of stomach. Also, last time I checked you still needed a man to impregnate you, so how does that work here? Voodoo sperm magic?

Gotta love reverse-engineering character traits (I want character to do X, what kind of personality does it need for that?), because it always works out so well , right? Also note that her "maybe" reason here makes no sense, especially not if Cecilia is supposed to be a representation of "mother nature". Cannibalism usually only happen(s|ed) in tribes (and she's living alone?) and only after the people have already died, or it happens as a last resort. Using "food" as an argument to kill people is downright stupid, since there's definitely plenty of other edible stuff around here.

And then she does it anyway? I mean, especially one of the kids is just straight out that.

Regarding her faces:

I still find it baffling how she can seriously believe her characters to be original when they're all the product of every tired cliché in existence. I mean, we've never seen a sultry, sexed up voodoo/tiki/tribal woman with no clothes on, have we? Nah~ (Also, in what world could this figure possibly be described as "ripe"?! Wasp waist with no organs is not ~ripe~ no matter how big those tits and hips are.)

Nah, that's where the ~deep stuff~ cuts in, she's Mother Mama Momma Nature, she reproduces via cell division or something.

Her delusions of originality and stereotypes-instead-of-real-character-traits together with the overuse of smarm brow makes me think of her as a more artistically talented/developed version of humon more and more.

Having the woman represent nature, her children represent war, famine, pestilence and death and their victims represent the seven deadly sins could be interesting if she didn't just spell out that's what they are by just naming them all those things. And, you know, if the story was completely different. They're fucking cannibals on top of everything else?

Although on the other hand I suspect she heard the advice that some character developers use that to create personalities and keep them consistent loosely base characters on a concept like the four elements or seven deadly sins or something. Doesn't work for everyone, but it can be a good starting point for some people. She probably just took it really fucking literally.

You gotta love that Captain Flamepants and Commodore Norrington's conservation still revolves entirely around "don't do anything gay to me!" What incredible character development. Speaking of which, there is no way he isn't Commodore Norrington. He even had a powdered wig at first:




Come the fuck on.

How the hell you able to close your distance by holding the bayonet musket at the end like that?
Muskets are really long at this era, and you would strain your right hand if you handle it like on the 6th panel, whilst keeping your whole body facing buttpirate. Oh wait.... it's a magic musket that has its sized varied throught the panels...

Yeah, why hate the french asspirate? It's not like he actually does anything remotely pirate like (or anything at all for that matter).

He seriously seems to be pirate in name sake only.

She participated in a genre swap contest. Everyone, even Santiago, look like a bunch of white guys dressed all Japanese. Which is ok I suppose, but if you're doing a genre swap then shouldn't your characters ethnicity reflect the new genre? It's supposed to be a samurai drama, after all. I'm sure we could still recognize your simple characters if their hair was black and they were a bit squinty eyed.

I can't help but to cringe when I stare at this...I feel like I'm staring at some cadaver

He's only hunched over like that because he's trying to emphasize a point and needs to look cool and sexy while doing it. Not because of the strain his humongous ribcage is obviously placing on his spine, god!

It almost looks like he's actually leaning forwards over the wall, but his hands and head are the wrong way around.

Oh yeah... that nose going to puncture someone in the eyes, much sharper than the bayonet!

It looks like he is posing like a banana and we are looking at it head on.

The lack of any real chest continues to trick my eyes into believing his body is in the reverse order.

Don't be so tsundere Commodore-sama

despite how little Japanese the characters look, the shitty concept and the fucking awkward anatomy of the spanish guy's arm, I have to admit I like the art in the Samurai one.
however, if anyone showed me this without context:

I would have thought Tom Preston drew it.