https://forum.encyclopediadramatica.se/media/keyword/bowling/ Encyclopedia Dramatica Forums, ED Forums, EDF2: Electric Boogaloo, EDF, a Dramatica AG / EDrama Limited website. https://forum.encyclopediadramatica.se/media/keyword/bowling/ https://forum.encyclopediadramatica.se/styles/default/xenforo/logo.og.png Sun, 31 Mar 2013 16:58:33 +0000 From "Bowling for Columbine" (2001) Now it's time for a brief history of the United States of America. Hi, boys and girls! Ready to get started? Once upon a time, there were these people in Europe called pilgrims and they were afraid of being persecuted. So they all got in a boat and sailed to the New World where they wouldn't have to be scared ever again. - Oh, I'm so relaxed. - I feel so much safer. But as soon as they arrived, they were greeted by savages and they got scared all over again. - Injuns! So they killed them all. Now, you'd think wiping out a race of people would calm them down, but no. Instead, they started getting frightened of each other. - Witch! Witch! So they burned witches. In 1775 they started killing the British, so they could be free. And it worked. But they still didn't feel safe. So they passed a second amendment, which said every white man could keep his gun. - I loves my gun, love's my gun! This brings us to the genius idea of slavery. You see, boys and girls, the white people back then were also afraid of doing any work. So they went to Africa, kidnapped thousands of black people, brought them back to America, and forced them to work very hard for no money. And I don't mean no money like: - I work at Wal-Mart and make no money. I mean zero dollars. Nothing, nada, zip. Doing it that way made the USA the richest country in the world. So did having all that money and free help calm the white people down? No way. They got even more afraid. That's because after 200 years of slavery, the black people now outnumbered the white people in many parts of the South. Well, you can pretty much guess what came next. The slaves started rebelling. There were uprisings and old masters' heads got chopped off and when white people heard of this, they were freaking out. They going: - I want to live! Don't kill me, big black man. Well, just in the nick of time came Samuel Colt, who, in 1836 invented the first weapon ever that could be fired over and over without having to reload. And all the se https://forum.encyclopediadramatica.se/media/bowling-for-columbine-a-brief-history-of-the-united-states-of-america.979/ https://forum.encyclopediadramatica.se/media/bowling-for-columbine-a-brief-history-of-the-united-states-of-america.979/ https://forum.encyclopediadramatica.se/media/bowling-for-columbine-a-brief-history-of-the-united-states-of-america.979/comments +Religion and Politics +MrGask america bowling columbine feather indian fuckin-descriptive t history loves my gun merica merka murica why can-t i edit the MrGask